Tanya returns the washroom key, attached to a large object, back to the barista, who is male and rather intense. She opens her wallet, intending to purchase some tea.
Barista Boy: Oh, you don't need to pay for that.
(Awkward Pause #1)
Tanya: I know. I was gonna... buy a tea though.
(Awkward Pause #2, because how embarrassing it is to have gone to the toilet? Are we British?)
Tanya: Do you have ginger tea?
BB: Yes, we have a special holiday tea that is made with jasmine and cinnamon, it's spicy and nice.
Tanya: Okay -
BB: But not a real substitute for ginger.
Tanya: Oh.
BB: We don't have ginger tea, actually.
Tanya: Okay. Um, I'll have a peppermint tea then.
BB: Sure. Our peppermint comes from a farm in Utah!
Tanya: That's cool.
(Awkward Pause #3)
Tanya: I had no idea... about that.
(The barista walks away and prepares some tea.)
BB: (Almost shouting) You should be very happy!
Tanya: I... am?
BB: This tea is lucky tea.
Tanya: Well, awesome. I will come back and let you know how it works out for me.
BB: It's working already!
Tanya: Haha... yeah...
(Tanya runs over to a table)
Tanya: Did you hear that?
Alexandra: Was he flirting with you? He's cute!
Tanya: I think there's something wrong with him.
Alexandra: Well, he wasn't flirting with me. You should sleep with him.*
Tanya: Errrr... that's... no. But who's that guy sitting behind you?
Alexandra: Who?
Tanya: In the corner. That guy's hot.
Alexandra: That is a homeless man.
Tanya: Are you sure? He's writing in a notebook or something.
Alexandra: That man is homeless.
HIPSTER OR HOMELESS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS:
ALEXANDRA 1 TANYA 0
*A good example of the type of rational advice fashionable young ladies give each other on an hourly basis.
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3 comments:
Look, that barista was kind of cute.
Also, I made myself a list called "IDEAS FOR SELF IMPROVEMENT" and these are the first three items:
1. Stop sleeping with unsuitable men.
2. Stop sleeping with unsuitable men on first dates.
3. Seduce a philosopher.
So, clearly, I am a lady.
Oh, and also, this did not transpire at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, but rather at Peet's Coffee. Gosh.
I got out of bed at 4:30 in the morning just to tell you that.
You see? This is why I need to dictaphone, to record things in real time so that later I don't come across as a liar.
I had to get up at 4:30 am that day too, to catch a bus to Toronto for an interview. And guess what??? I didn't get to Toronto until 9:30. Yay Greyhound!
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